Family life - bringing up children
Our children do not come with "how to handle manuals" and many parents find themselves learning on the job without a clue on what to do.
The following notes will provide you with a reference list for bringing up children. They are things you should consider and ask God's wisdom in approaching them.
A house is used for explanation purposes. We take a look at the different parts of a house and apply it to bringing up children.
1. Roof = Protection, LOVE
a The love relationship of parents
Love is the most important need of growing children not expensive toys. The only way children can interpret our love is by the attention we give them. Are you giving your children love?
b The choices we make for them
Children need to be told what to do not asked their opinion. As they grow into their teenagers years they will be better equipped to make their own choices if they have been directed properly during their formative years.
c Also affirmation, love, interest in what happens to them, willingness to act (tactfully) if they are really in trouble is an important need for growing children.
2. Walls - Boundaries PRAYER AND FASTING - Ezra 8
What limits do you set on:
a Pocket money?
b Time of coming in as they get older?
c Bedtimes in general
d TV programme etc?
e Tidying bedrooms
f Behaviour and bad temper - moods etc.
All the above things are issues you need to address and not just ignore. The character of your child can be done a lot of damage if you do not set limits on the above. No one enjoys discipline while it is being dished ot but it will be greatly appreciated in the future. Start early in giving your child guidelines and boundaries in life. Do not wait till the teenage years. By that time it might be too late.
3. Windows - Teaching and training
imparting our values concerning:
a Sexual morality
b Honesty and integrity
c Mending broken relationships
d Loving and forgiving
e Self discipline etc
As the opportunities arise use them to impart values into your child with regards to the above. Try to look out for timely and relevant ways to teach them about these issues. Do not leave it to someone else.
4. Door - Increasing freedom and security
getting the balance.
Do you let them choose their own clothes?
Rearranging their room?
when in secondary school they want their room and clothes to appear more sophisticated.
dealing with fears (of bullies etc)
know where your children are
honouring their increasing maturity
As children become adults the boundaries you have given them in younger years will need to be relaxed.
Extracts of a talk given by Faith Forster